How we find our partners is changing.
About 30% of us now do so through dating sites and apps, with a much higher percentage in the younger age groups.
The other main ways are through work and friends, about 20% each. Childhood sweethearts represent about 10% of partnerships. Introductions through family connections now account for less than 5%.
As a youngster, I often saw advertisements in magazines and on billboards for the first UK computer dating service, Dateline. It was launched in 1966 by entrepreneur John Patterson.
He copied the idea from two Harvard undergraduates.
Dateline tried to match individuals by interests and tastes using software run on an IBM mainframe computer. It became very successful, but failed to adapt to the internet world and went out of business in the late 1990s.
The first online dating website, match.com, was set up by Stanford University graduate, Gary Kremen in 1995. He had previously been paying over £100 per hour for a telephone dating service and felt there had to be better and cheaper ways of finding a partner.
Match.com now operates in over 20 countries. Kremen’s company also went on to develop several other dating sites, including Tinder and Plenty of Fish.
When I first moved to Wokingham after the break-up of my marriage, a friend recommended that I try match.com.
He also suggested I drop five years off my age, as he had done, to open up more opportunities. It worked for him and he married a lady this way, but had a few nervous moments explaining the age discrepancy.
My experiences were less successful. I had my first date on a Sunday evening.
No trains were running and the replacement bus did not arrive, so I got a taxi.
The lady, a yoga teacher, was very nice and we got on well. She later drove me back home after I explained about the trains.
As I was about to get out, she said that she could not possibly go out with someone without a car. I was out of work, but decided to buy a car, although it was too late to sway the yoga teacher.
I then managed to get a job in Germany, where I could still use my match.com membership. However, it was soon made clear to me by a couple of German ladies that I did not measure up to German standards. One told me she would explain exactly why, but never did. At that point, I conceded defeat and ended my membership.
When I returned to the UK at the end 2019, I signed up to Tinder and Plenty of Fish. Unfortunately, due to Covid restrictions, it proved impossible to meet anyone in the flesh. Later I decided to try match.com again, after a 10-year gap.
I was in touch with several ladies who were suddenly removed from the website, presumably as they were scammers. With some, there were clues, but with another, who had written six books, none.
It is good that hosts are removing potential scammers, but the problem is growing. One of the worst cases was highlighted in the Netflix documentary Tinder Swindler.
This focused on the scams of an Israeli national, Simon Leviev, who wooed his victims by whisking them off in private jets and flash cars to luxury hotels. However, he was funding this through money from previous scams.
Leviev is accused of conning over £300,000 from ladies he met through Tinder. He had changed his surname to that of a Russian diamond billionaire and pretended to be his son.
Tinder announced a new service earlier this month that will allow users to conduct checks on potential dates for violent crimes and sexual offences. And better checks for fraudsters in due course. If you are looking for love online, be warned.
As for me, I did eventually meet someone special through match.com, so never give up hope.
