HE is usually found lying on the parish chaise longue with his paws wrapped around a Stinking Bishop.
But reports coming out of St Paul’s Church in Wokingham this week, have claimed Bertie the church mouse is a little cheesed off.
The reclining rodent announced he has not been this upset since his famous ancestor, Julius Cheeser was stabbed in the back.
In an exclusive interview with the Wokingham Paper, Bertie waved his right to remain anonymouse as he angrily revealed: “It’s no more Mr. Mice Guy.
Sipping weakly from a glass of fine Burgandy, he added: “There I was, ready to take the ol’ MG Roadster for a jolly spin down Wokingham’s beautiful lanes when Rector Richard announced he had signed me up for the Reading half-marathon.”
Bertie told the crafty cleric:”I beg to disabrie!”
“It’s for a good cause,” came the reply.
“Well, I reckon anything you can do I can do feta.”
“Are you taking the micky, mouse?”
“I just take the gauda with the bad.”
Bertie said Rector Richard’s angry stare reminded him of that scary Chinese dictator, Mouse Tse Tung.
However, the pair decided to paws their disagreement while they started a training programme.
After several months of gruyeling morning runs, Rector Richard was aiming to finish the race in under two hours. Bertie was aiming to finish.
“I managed 1 hour 48 minutes and 45 seconds,” smiled the rector.
“That was despite carrying a rather rotund rodent through the streets of Reading for most of the route. I am ashamed to say that Bertie tried to take a short cut down a drain just two hundred yards from the start, but his rear end got stuck and that was the end of his race.”
The tail ends with the great news that £1,080 pounds was raised in aid of the Royal Berkshire Hospital.
“The past two years have been incredibly tough for everyone but the wonderful staff at the Berks have been there throughout helping so many people and I was keen to show the church’s appreciation,” said Rector Richard.
Added Bertie: “I wholeheartedly agree. It is a wonderful place and I am delighted to have helped raise so much money. Now, if I can just get an appointment at the vets for my four aching paws.”
